


Fire in the Back of My Throat

by Alithea



Category: Persona 5
Genre: F/F, Hate Sex, Songfic, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 07:14:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11709483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alithea/pseuds/Alithea
Summary: Ohya never liked Sae Niijima, and having the woman turn up to ask for a favor was the last thing she needed. She finds she doesn't have much of a choice in accepting though, and knows she's going to make a mistake.  F/F, Songfic.





	Fire in the Back of My Throat

**Author's Note:**

> Songfic using "Smoke" by PVRIS.

**This isn't violence this is just a war in my head  
** **I give it time but it never seems to end**  
**I feel a fire in the back of my throat**  
**So let's get covered in flames and play some games with the smoke**

Ohya was well into her third Scotch when the woman walked into the near empty bar. She watched the played out exchange between the woman and Lala, the bar's owner, out of the corner of her eye. It was an odd exchange, and people could say whatever they liked about her, but even when she was dead drunk there was no doubting a sinister motive. The woman ordered a Scotch on the rocks and gave Lala the sort of compliments that would keep her blushing and amused for a long while. 

She drained the contents of her glass. 

The people who came to Crossroads did not go there on accident, and if they did Lala made it very clear the sort of establishment they had chanced upon. And the thing with Lala was that she never let anyone forget that it was her bar, and any problems a tourist might have with their mistake was just that, their problem. Ohya did not go to Crossroads because it was a convenient place to drink herself numb, though Lala's discretion was always helpful and appreciated. No, Ohya, went there because it was where she went with Kayo to celebrate a well earned scoop. 

She looked into her empty glass and was surprised when Lala replaced it with a double.She arched an eyebrow, scrutinizing the the gift, and frowned slightly. 

"The lady wanted me to give this to you," Lala said and then added maternally, "Though I think you've rather had enough."

"You aren't my mother, Lala."

"Someone should look out for you."

"Well," Ohya said with a smile, taking a drink quickly, and then raising the glass towards the woman who had graciously paid for it and added, "Maybe _she'll_ look after me."

At that Lala shook her head and stepped away.

Ohya picked up the glass of Scotch and moved over two seats so she could be a little closer to the woman who had disrupted her evening. 

"I'll thank you for the drink, but you can go hell, Niijima," Ohya spat in a hushed whisper.

The other woman looked her over and shrugged. "I just want some information, Ichiko."

At that Ohya laughed. "I may be a drunken hack, but the idea that I'd be willing hand over any information to you is laughable."

"I could make you an unemployed hack."

**_You said "don't you try to run right now, 'cause baby I could burn you down"_ **

"You're such a bitch." She took a gulp of her drink and looked away from the prosecutor. "I just do the entertainment section. I don't have a lot of information these days."

"Sure you do. You have to have a source for all those Phantom Thieves fluff pieces you've been putting out."

"Christ, I fucking hate you." She pushed the drink away and turned a little more fully in her seat. "I'm not giving you my source, so, you can have me fired, or arrested. I don't really care."

The woman, Sae Niijima of the Prosecutor's Office, nodded. She took a drink and looked Ohya in the eyes, "I thought you might say something like that." She pulled something out of her pocket and slid it across the bar.

Ohya read it and reached for her drink. She huffed.

"He seemed to think you'd gotten a bit better," Sae said coolly.

"I have. This is only number four. Usually, I'm on six by now." She sighed. "It was a bad day."

"I'd heard."

"Had you?" The vitriol in her tone was hard to tamp down. She shook her head and said, " _She_ was having a bad day...Kayo. I still hate you."

Sae shrugged. "I've never made myself very likable, Ichiko."

"That's a shit appology."

"I wasn't apologizing." And she meant it, but she reached out her hand, surprised when it was accepted. 

Ohya shut her eyes. "What do you need me to do?"

Sae told her. 

She nodded. "I'll get you what you need." 

**You make your way into my veins  
** **Course right through my limbs and dig your way into my brain**  
**So in the second that you walk, walk into a room**  
**I can't help myself from that thing that you do**

It was always easy to hate Sae Niijima. She was tenacious, and never backed down once she caught the scent of guilt. Ohya never liked her which was probably why the sex was always so good, and the morning afters so terrible. But Sae had gone too far with Ohya one evening by looking at her notes for a story. Notes Sae used to help send someone to jail. It was an unforgivable breach of trust. Ohya always thought she'd do anything to get the story she was chasing, but it wasn't true. She had a limit. Sae did not have a limit or at least she didn't used to. 

They met again at Crossroads. Ohya in her usual perch waited for Sae to enter, and when she did they moved to a corner booth. Sae eyed the glass in front of Ohya and the reporter sneered. 

"It's my first," Ohya stated sharply. "And it really isn't any of your business how much I gulp down. Now, the information you were after." She reached into her purse and handed over a white envelope. "I'm not sure how much this will help, but it's something."

Sae took the envelope and took a quick glance at the contents. "It will do. Thank you."

"Well, I did it for the kid. I owe him, and besides...He's a good guy."

"I agree."

"That doesn't really sound like you."

Sae grimaced. "I had-"

"A change of heart," Ohya laughed.

"No. I was given evidence, and I changed my mind. I _can_ do that." She brushed her hair behind her ear. There was an odd tightness in her jaw that Ohya had seen a few times before. "Ichiko, I-"

"Don't." Ohya interrupted, "It looks terrible on you when you try." 

Sae got up and left the bar. Ohya stayed in the booth longer than she had intended and was startled by Lala's concerned appearance. She slammed back her drink and hissed between her teeth. 

"Lala, there are going to be days when I wish I stayed inside the bottle and never crawled out, and I promise you most of them will be because of that damned woman." She put her money on the table and stood up. 

"Is Akira in trouble," Lala asked, pretending not to have heard Ohya's little rant.

"Yeah, he is. But I sure as hell won't let him stay there."

**You're just a ghost of blissful feelings  
** **A cloud of smoke that I keep breathing**  
**An illusion, I'm losing you to the games in my mind**

Ohya hadn't hit the pavement hard in a long time. She had still been investigating into what had happened with Kayo and hadn't dropped the Shido story despite the threats that had come from her editor. But she had not been doing, what she would consider, a great job of it, because she had been demoralized by the fall. Taken aback by the corruption of being silenced, and without a clear direction found her zeal for the work wanting.

She wasn't sure if any of the things she was writing and reporting were of any help to Akira, but she had to chase down every lead and line of inquiry. She had to do what she could, and it led her back into circles she had long since abandoned. Sure no one really took her seriously anymore, but that was fine, because they let their guard down and information dripped sloppily from their mouths. From there it was easy to tug on the chains of information she had been given to get more of what she really needed. 

It was late and the club was filled. There were girls, money, and drugs pervading the air. She had already smoked half a pack of cigarettes, but was only nursing her second drink. There was a rumor about a secret room in the back that offered, at a very high price, the sort of extra amenities that no would be political or public figure would want the general public to become aware of. She was moving purposefully towards it when a hand caught her wrist and she was faced with red-brown eyes that burned even redder under the club's lights. 

A sound of irritation left her throat and she allowed herself to be pulled back into a corner booth. 

"Have you been following me," she asked.

"A coincidence, I promise," Sae stated. "I have a raid planned."

**_Oh you're killing me right now  
I think it's time you burn me down_ **

"Who are you after?"

"Funny," Sae replied, "I was about to ask you that same question. You've been doing well, Ichiko."

"Has it helped in the least?"

"I'm not here on holiday." She sat back and her eyes caught on that of a young man moving toward the backroom. She had that killer look that meant she was winning. It would have been attractive if it hadn't been so terrifying. "It's probably a good thing that I'm considering a career change once this is over."

Ohya didn't say anything. She just lit a cigarette and blew the smoke up into the air. 

"You might want to take off unless you want to be detained for questioning."

"Oh, you are the worst." She took another drag from her cigarette and stood up. "How about an exclusive, Miss Prosecutor?" 

Sae grinned. "Just don't get caught coming back to be first on the scene."

Ohya flipped her off and strolled out of the club. It was one of those times she wished she could just call up Kayo and vent. 

**I see your face, an apparition  
** **But now it's changed**  
**Shape shifting**  
**Don't wanna open my eyes**

The truth, that Ohya had always known, was that one only ever traded in one addiction or bad habit for another. She was drinking less, but smoking more. She was tenacious in her search for the truth, but she had to make sure she wasn't letting that feeling of victory trump her common sense. It was easy to let that feeling overtake reason, because it was an addictive high. 

She had gotten her exclusive and her paper rewarded her handsomely. She was on her way back up, but she felt cautious because she knew what the fall to the bottom was like. She still had the bruises and broken bones to show for it. It was a terrible tightrope, but one she could never walk away from. 

Ohya sat with Kayo who was having one of her better days. She wondered if there was any chance of Kayo fully recovering, or if there was never a way to fully recover from that much damage. Her own was mostly self inflicted and not near the same level. She mentioned Sae and Kayo just smiled in a sad knowing way at her. She nearly apologized for it but without prompting Kayo just squeezed her hand, a blessing and a warning. 

On her way out she chatted with one of the nurses, and overall Kayo's condition seemed to be improving. Time, and patience, and treatment that's all the nurse had to offer. There was no magic solution, except that Ohya knew that there might be. She just didn't have access to it, and she wasn't sure if it was within her rights to ask for, or administer it. 

From the hospital she went to Crossroads. She needed a drink, and she knew Lala would keep her from drinking too much. The bar was empty. The bar never really filled up until the late evening. She could sit in her spot and brood with a her customary Scotch, and then take off once too many people started to come in. 

She had just finished her first drink when Sae walked in and sat down next to her. 

"What can I do for you today, Niijima," Ohya asked leaning on her arm and staring at the melting ice in her glass.

"I thought that maybe we could talk."

"And resolve our differences?" She laughed at her little jab, mirthless and quiet, almost a huff of smoke. 

"Ichiko, I think you know we'll never quite be on the same track," Sae replied, "But we could be-"

"I told you before, Sae," Ohya whispered and sat up. "I guess you still don't listen. It looks terrible on you when you try."

"Right."

She pulled out her money. "Lala, this will cover it," she called out and grabbed Sae by the wrist. Tugged her out into the street and then down an alleyway, where after a moment's pause Sae pushed her against a wall and kissed her hard. 

Ohya fought the urge to laugh, and returned the sentiment tugging at the woman's lips with her teeth, and accidentally-on-purpose scratching Sae's neck with her nails. The skin puckering pink and in small places beading red so that Sae sucked in a sharp breath when Ohya brought her lips and teeth along the wound. 

"I missed how much you hated me," Sae whispered in a hiss.

"Oh, I never stopped."

**Oh you're killing me right now  
** **(You're killing me killing me right now)**  
**I think it's time you burn me down**

When Ohya woke Sae was getting dressed and peering out of the hotel window. She was scrutinizing something pretty closely, but stepped back and closed the curtain. She sat at the edge of the bed, blouse only half buttoned. 

"Is that what you needed," Ohya asked lazily and sat up.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"But you didn't." She moved her fingers down her neck and wondered how long she would need to wear a turtleneck. 

Sae turned and looked at her, the scratch mark on her neck still slightly raised. "I'm not exactly sure."

"Of course you aren't."

"Are you?"

"It's like pouring out that next drink after you know you've had enough, Sae. You know it's going to bite you in the ass, but at that moment- in the fog and haze of it all- at that moment it's just what you need." She chuckled ruefully. "I'm not sure we can be nice to each other, and eventually that's what you are going to need."

"But not you?"

"I didn't say that." She pushed the bed sheets away and moved so that she could pull Sae into her. Sae tilted her head back exposing her neck and Ohya left a soft kiss on the wounds she had left there. "I had something nice once. It was taken away from me, and I'm not sure-"

"Don't," Sae said softly. "Don't it looks terrible on you." 

**You're just a ghost of blissful feelings  
A cloud of smoke that I keep breathing**

**I feel a fire in the back of my throat  
So let's get covered in flames and play some games with the smoke**

End.


End file.
